Pronoun Power: How To Become An Expert on Using Pronouns
Pronouns, everyone has them, but they are each unique to us. Yet, when someone’s pronouns change, how can we adapt to them? Firstly, it is important to recognize that people’s pronouns are part of their identity, and should be respected at all times. This piece is a simple, yet not quite comprehensive list of ways you can adjust to someone’s pronouns. So without further ado, let’s get started.
1. Acceptance
You need to first before you can even begin practicing pronouns accept that the person’s pronouns are valid and deserving of respect and love. You cannot approach this from a place of hate, and at first transphobia. Once you are accepting of that person, then the learning can begin.
2. Clarity
Next, you need to make sure you are using the right pronouns. Whether that is she/her, he/him, they/them, or neo pronouns check in with the person and make sure you are using the right pronouns. That can be as simple as saying, “hey, are these your correct pronouns.?” Once you get the clarity you can start working on it yourself.
3. Practice
Now comes the fun part, practicing the pronouns. I recommend practicing in the mirror, and either imagining addressing the person or using their pronouns in a sentence. An example of a sentence can be, “They are cool.” Adapt this sentence with the person’s desired pronouns. Remember it will take time probably to adjust to these pronouns, just be patient with yourself and it will work out eventually.
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4. Do not over apologize
When talking to someone if you use the wrong pronouns, do not apologize profusely, or make the whole conversation a long explanation of why you messed up. That will just embarrass everyone. Instead, just correct yourself, and move on. We all make mistakes, and that is ok.
5. Respect
The last step in this list is respecting someone’s pronouns. We all know ourselves better than anyone else, and you just have to let the person take the lead. When someone asks you what a friend's or family member’s pronouns are, use the ones that the person told you, and never assume. If someone does not want to share pronouns that is perfectly fine too. Just respect the individual, and celebrate their journey.
This list is a simple start to learning pronouns, but it is by no means the end-all-be-all. I recommend talking to the people in your life, and talking about pronouns, and what they mean to you. The more pronoun usage is normalized, and not viewed as some new “fad,” the easier a world and time living we will have.
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Meet The Writer!
Hello ! I’m Joan Rittberg. I am a freelance writer and a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Some publications I write and have written for include Medium, The Pennsylvania Equality Project, and Queers for a Cause. I was born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware. I graduated from Millersville University with a B.A. in Communications with a Concentration in Theatre. My writing is focused on the LGBTQ+ Community and Pop Culture. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn.
